Sunday Mussings

SO, I have a surprise day off on Monday.  That makes a 3 day weekend for me, but yesterday was taken up with moving dear daughter into her dorm room.  I'll miss her, but I'm also excited about the grand adventure she's embarking on.  But I'll miss her :/

Today, I need to fill out my responses to the STBX's divorce petition.  So not my idea of a good time.  So not anyone's idea of a good time, really.  Tomorrow I'll get that sent out.  BUT since I've got the day off, I am thinking of doing a day hike up at Cooper's Rock just to get out of the house and readjust my head.  I might fill my 40 liter pack with water, something for lunch, maybe even a mess kit and one of my hammocks for an enjoyable day hike.  I really haven't decided yet.  It would certainly go some way to combat this depression.

I'll see how I feel about it tomorrow.  If nothing else, I might just tromp a few miles on the Northbednd Rail trail near West Union with the same strategy in mind - pack, food, water, hammock.

I'll let y'all know what I decide.

Ramblings and Bleah

My plans, for all they were worth, became dust this week.  At least my plans on doing a solo trek into the Seneca River Falls up on Spruce Knob in early October.  My co-worker got a better job at a specialty pharmacy and I'm left, the sole pharmacy tech at the little place I work, till they get another body in there.  Figure it will be mid-November before I get more than 1 day off at a time.  So yeah, what a letdown.

Dear Daughter moves into her college dorm in 6 days so I'm cruising on some hard core empty nesting sadness.  The one bright spot in my life in this house is leaving.  I'll miss her desperately.  The soon-to-be-ex got himself lawyered up (must be nice having a money bags to give him everything) and the petition has been filed.  I received divorce papers last week, so I need to get my responses back.   It really is time to push toward my own place where I can reboot my life and reinvent myself.

I'm not sure I'll ever be whole again, though - there's too much hurt, heartache and emotional damage.  I certainly won't trust a man ever again - not easily anyway.  Not after STBX and his shenanigans.  I would like to use words that are much harsher and more descriptive, but I'll save those till the ink's dry on the divorce decree and I'm in a safe, healing place.

What I need, more than anything else right now (other than more Jesus in my life -- always need more Jesus), is a worthy goal.  Going to work to earn money to keep the lights on and put food in the belly ... that's just survival.  It's a day in-day out slog that has no meaning on its own.  What's the worth of scrambling for survival level pay, coming home exhausted and staring at the TV or a video monitor day after day after day.  Why continue breathing?

I seriously need a week away in the woods.  Seriously.

Sorry for the depressing depression ramble.